# Be awful. Be honest. Be free This time I decided to go the end. «I need to tell you something» — I told my business partner — «I have a terrible blind spot and I can’t be fixed…» You know, it took me quite a while to get to this point. We study at school and presumably we are expected to be perfect at everything. If you are naturally gifted or interested in say chemistry — good for you. If not, you just need to try harder. These are the premises for success or at least so they say. They… imaginary adults. Then I grew up with this idea that I need to be at least good. I read all of these articles about the toll of perfectionism and «done is better than perfect». But seldom I allowed even a thought of being «awfully disgustingly unprofessional» in some aspects of business. If that’s too harsh of a definition for you just as it was for me, let’s start with something easier. That is — being bad at something. ## Being bad First I stumbled upon this when I was still writing my code in one of our first companies and we hired a really talented developer. Overnight he created something that took me two weeks. Moreover, it worked 1000 times faster than my shitty code. I thought «Wow! Ok… I guess i better switch to product and business development from this point now on.» However, that was not a «blind spot». I was still able to write some code if needed. I was… just not as good as other developers, I admit. I was bad at writing code. This is where my Inner Critic started to show up. A grey eminence standing behind my left shoulder whispering «you see, you are not good enough». And if I was «not good enough» at something particular, probably there could be some more areas where I was not good enough. And my Inner Critic searched for these areas. ## The Inner Critic Why do you think he sits there in the back of your mind, watching thoroughly, collecting evidence of every misstep? Why do you think he whispers in your ear? Don’t know about yours. But I can tell you about my. Grey angel: he is trying his best to protect me. More precise — to protect my ego. In other words he is totally unconditionally on my side. Doing the best he can to help me as he understands it. And I do respect him for that. I believe, all of the parts of our personalities deserve respect. Inner critic included. He is fighting fiercely in my trenches. Shoulder to shoulder. ## Being awfully bad at something «I need to tell you something» — I told to my business partner — «I have a terrible blind spot. It can’t be fixed. And I won’t even try to fix it.» «Go ahead» — she seemed interested. «I am awfully bad at hiring and firing people. Not just bad. 100% unprofessional and unqualified to do that. I love people too much, and that love gets in the way of my rational judgement. So I have zero competence here.» I know it may sound strange from a person who had his teams and companies. Being able to hire a great team is The number one skill for an entrepreneur (or so they say). Confession like mine may sound like I’ve been a fraud all along — all these 25 years. If only… if only it may as well indicate that I am good at something else. So good that it compensates for this total absence of this critical business skill. For example, maybe I always had partners who were top-grade stars at the powers I’m lacking. And hell yes, I am good at many things. This is just not one of them. And it will never be. Do you want to know what my partner replied? «Ok, I’m good at this myself, so we’re gonna be fine» — she said. And just like that we moved to the next item on our agenda. ## Being free Liberating. «Liberating» would be an understatement. Understanding your limits and being candid with yourself about your blind spots. No need to pretend that I fit this imaginary «standard» of an entrepreneur. Freedom. Wings unfurled behind my back. And then the meeting was over I turned to my Inner Critic and said: «Listen buddy. This is what you wanted all these years. This. This is what you need to protect me from. Whenever I tend to forget about my limitations — you are here to remind me and protect me. Protect me from my ego. From overestimating myself in the areas where my expertise is zero. There are many such things.» «But when it comes to things where i am good or at least okeyish — please don’t stand in my way. You’ve got another job, remember?» «So. Do we have a deal? Now — let’s keep fighting together shoulder to shoulder»